


so which one of you is, you know, the corgi owner?

by ehemond



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dog owners, F/F, They have dogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ehemond/pseuds/ehemond
Summary: Eve hates dog parks. She would also hate going to dog parks, if it weren't for that beautifully useless corgi and its equally beautiful owner who she definitely is not in love with. Eve doesn't even know her name!
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69





	so which one of you is, you know, the corgi owner?

Eve hates dog parks.

Sure, she understands the importance of encouraging a dog’s social instincts and the stimulation only other canine friends can bring to a dog’s life, but it’s not like she has to  _ enjoy _ it. But she loves Bebe and she is responsible for her care, so Eve does what she must. It’s not like she likes going to the dog park. She dreads the weekly trip, she really does. Except every time Eve’s gone in the last six weeks, another pair has made their adorable, if extraordinarily clumsy appearance. 

Eve is fairly certain that the bumbling corgi and its gorgeous blonde owner are the only things giving her the strength to repeatedly endure overly chatty dog owners, poorly behaved dog owners, and the worst- irresponsible dog owners. Not that she would ever tell them that. That would be creepy. She doesn't even know the dog’s name, much less the owner’s.

Eve figures that it would be a good idea to at some point ask for her name, maybe even strike up a conversation, but she’s not sure she has it in her. What if the owner turns out to be completely awful? If she secretly is a terrible person, or even worse, a terrible dog owner? Eve couldn’t bear to have the picture she has of the stunningly perfect woman destroyed by actually making her acquaintance. It would be a tragedy.

Anyways, Bebe is a big dog and stays in the big dog section, while the corgi and its owner stay in the small dog section. There is absolutely no reason for their paths to ever cross.

Bill tells her that she is being completely irrational, and Elena looks disappointingly at her every time she joins, but Kenny is on Eve’s side, and she takes it as a win. It’s not like they come with her often enough to really think it’s a problem. Which it’s not.

It seems like her visit this week will be the same as usual, except for the fact that Eve has been at the park for nearly an hour at her usual time, and beautiful blonde corgi owner and her corgi are not to be seen. Eve tries not to let her disappointment shine through because at least nobody has bothered her and Bebe seems to be frolicking happily with the other dogs. It’s not like her day is made or broken by the presence of her latest fixation.

Finally Eve decides that she’ll give it another ten minutes before she heads home, hoping for a chance to observe the tragically useless corgi and its owner. They really are quite helpless.

Ten minutes pass quickly, and Eve is dismayed to see absolutely no trace of any corgis. Or corgi owners. She sighs, but resignedly moves to leash Bebe and head home.

On her way to her car, Eve hears muttering on a side path leading into a forest and stops to investigate. She focuses on the voice, which progressively gets louder and louder until she can finally begin to make out slightly accented words, “You are a useless dog, do you know that? Absolutely useless. Cannot even walk from the car to the park, how do you ever expect to make anything out of your life? I am talking to you, you hopeless corgi.”

At the word corgi, Eve perks up and does her best to appear like a casually nonchalant standing person. She squints, the figure becoming steadily clearer until she makes out the recent focus of her obsessions. 

The woman is dressed in a white, silky blouse with polka dots, buttoned low to expose her collar with a light strip around her neck. She has that paired with high waisted yellow trousers, which Eve  _ knows _ should not work, but somehow looks completely flawless. Eve seriously wonders how someone could be so utterly perfect when she can barely find it in herself to throw on a clean sweater, but she figures it has something to do with genetics. It is the only plausible explanation.

More muttering cuts Eve out of her thoughts, the woman’s voice tinged with annoyance and adoration in equal measure. Eve doesn’t even know how that is possible, but she supposes if anybody could do it, it would be her.

“Can you do anything? You wanted to go out, not me. And now you don’t? Make up your mind, Butter.”

Suddenly Eve notices that in the woman’s arms lies a large, sideways corgi that is panting excessively. The dog, who she assumes to be named Butter, of all things, looks otherwise completely content to be carried in the woman’s arms, and Eve thinks she would be too, if such a woman were carrying her. Examining the pair closely, Eve realizes that the sight is, well, a bit unfortunate. Upon closer inspection, the impeccably dressed woman appears to be expending quite a lot of effort to carry Butter. Sweat is clearly beginning to form and she seems to be struggling to maintain her ninety-degree hold on the corgi resting in her arms.

Before Eve even has time to register her actions, she is walking towards the corgi-laden woman and opening her mouth, “Do you need any help?”

She immediately regrets the offer, but the object of her secret pining looks up and once eye contact is made, Eve knows she is screwed. Piercing brown eyes focus on her, and the woman cocks her head, staring appraisingly at Eve. Her assessment appears to be favorable because the woman breaks out into a show-stopping smile, “You are going to help me?” It is phrased as a question, which Eve resents because she just offered, didn’t she?

“I- uh, yes, I am. I mean, if you want me to.” It’s not like Eve means to sound as indecisive and hopeless as she does, but it kind of just happens. She accepts it as a side effect of living in a world where women exist.

“Hm.”

“Do you want my help or not?” 

“I suppose.” 

Eve suddenly finds herself offered an armful of corgi. She stares at the dog before her for a while, and Butter begins to squirm in the woman’s grasp.

Impatiently, the woman demands, “Are you going to just stand there?”

“Oh!” Eve fumbles around with the leash in her hands, looping it around her arm a few times and hoping Bebe isn’t feeling particularly excitable after her time at the park. She reaches out to relieve the other woman of her burden, only to stumble slightly as the full weight of Butter becomes known to her. “Your dog is really heavy,” she says without thinking, wincing slightly when she realizes what she said, “Not that that’s bad or anything! There’s nothing wrong with being a little overweight!” Eve rushes to correct herself, only making things worse and she inwardly kicks herself. Way to charm a woman, telling her that her dog is fat.

“I know.” Ignoring the journey of microexpressions that Eve’s face takes, the woman continues to speak, “There are quite a few health problems associated with overweight dogs, but it is not my fault Butter is useless.” She looks reproachfully at her dog.

Eve stares at the woman. Her words are not particularly impassioned, there seems to be no anger, resentment, or any type of negative feeling behind her words, but they are still quite mean. She is really not sure how to feel about the woman anymore.

Uncomfortably, Eve readjusts her hold on Butter, making sure Bebe’s leash is still around her arms while putting more of Butter’s weight on her shoulders rather than her biceps. God, that dog is really heavy. At least Butter looks happy, tongue lolling out and panting like the little sausage dog she is.

“Isn’t it, well, your dog, though?” Eve asks. Even though the woman doesn’t seem like a particularly bad dog owner, she also doesn’t seem like an especially happy one. The woman is a whole myriad of confusing pieces, leaving Eve completely bewildered and unsure of how she should be feeling at any time.

“I am not the one feeding my dog outside of her normal mealtimes, I am not feeding her absolute junk, and I am definitely not the one encouraging her to do nothing all day!” By the end of her tirade, slips of blonde hair have escaped their bun and fallen in front of the woman’s face.

Eve is not prepared for how unbelievably hot that is. 

“Uh, wow. Sounds like you have strong feelings about that.”

The woman snorts, and Eve falls a little bit further. “Strong feelings,” she shakes her head bitingly, “I have many, many feelings!”

The more the woman works herself into a frenzy, the more Eve contemplates the very real possibility of falling in love with a woman whose name she doesn’t even know. That probably says more about her than anything else, but Eve is willing to admit it. To herself, at least.

“I can, uh, I can tell,” Eve replies because she has no idea how to respond to that without professing her undying love and adoration to the woman, “I’m Eve, by the way. Figure you should probably know the person holding your corgi in her arms.” Eve bounces said corgi a few times in her arms and winces. As if she could ruin her chances any more, she had to go off sounding like an awkward schoolboy talking to his crush for the first time.

“Hm,” The subject of Eve’s affections squints at her, as if carefully examining Eve before finally replying, “I am Villanelle.” She does not elaborate.

Eve feels like a specimen under observation when Villanelle continues to stare intensely at her like she is a particularly interesting new toy that has crossed her field of view. It would be disconcerting, except Eve thinks that it is probably the most attention she has ever received from Villanelle and is thus immensely grateful. Or maybe it’s just the restful corgi sitting in her arms. Eve wonders if that’s a thing. Is she suddenly more noticeable with a corgi attached to her?

Eventually Eve realizes that she is kind of just silently staring at Villanelle with Butter in her arms and she should probably reply. “Nice to meet you, Villanelle.”

In turn, Villanelle sweeps over Eve with an unrestrained smolder, her eyes slowly trailing down Eve’s body without an ounce of shame. Painfully slowly. Eve feels like a horse on display at auction, and Villanelle an eager buyer. It is...not an entirely unwelcome experience. Eve is human, and Villanelle is a gorgeous human being who is radiating interest.

Villanelle practically purrs her response in a long drawl, eyes meandering along Eve’s body before finishing at her eyes, “Please, the pleasure is all mine.” She makes as if to offer her hand before realizing that Eve is carrying a corgi, and instead drops it to her side with a flourish.

“That’s great,” Eve replies, “For you.”

Nodding in agreement, Villanelle holds out her arms, “Yes. Now, give me Butter. We are going on a walk and you are going home to wash your dog.” 

Eve barely takes offense at the arched look Villanelle sends Bebe’s way, and she is very proud about that. “Am I?”

Villanelle’s arched look swivels to meet Eve’s eyes. Eve swallows, “Right. I am.”

“Yes.” Villanelle appears extremely satisfied, setting Butter down onto the ground and walking away with a defined swagger, “I enjoyed our time together, Eve. We should do it again sometime. Next week. I will see you then.”

Stunned into silence, all Eve can do is watch Villanelle and Butter’s retreating figures. Both are incredibly enjoyable sights and Eve does not regret staring at them until they have disappeared into the park, “Next week then, I guess,” Eve tells herself with a smile, “Next week it is.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This was kind of a fever dream out a desire to see all my favorite ships as dog owners and also my own incompetent corgi who I love with my whole heart.


End file.
